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May 13, 2014
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So, I know a lot of you have worse home lives and all, but I'm just gonna rant about mine.  If anyone says for me to shut up because I don't have it as bad as them, I swear I will virtually choke you with the force.  I have a family secret only a few of you know, and a lot I have not told because it could really fuck up my life if you live close to me or know me personally, etc.

My dad.  My fucking dad.  I hate him.  I love him, but I hate him so fucking much.  He's always telling us to stick up for ourselves (My brother and I).  He wants us to be strong, independent people who know our way through the world and kick the ass of any problem.

HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO EVEN START DOING THAT IF WHEN I FIRST TRY TO STICK UP FOR MYSELF I GET YELLED AND AND ALMOST SMACKED FOR "TALKING BACK!?"

I am so sick of this fucking shit!  I'm having a shit week already, and I didn't need my dad to yell at me for sticking up for myself when he started making fun of the Sharpie kitty my friend drew on my arm, saying it was a damn tattoo.  I can't stick up for myself when my dad is inferring that I am going to be one of those gangster whores completely covered in tattoos, living on the streets because no one will hire me.  All because what!?  Because I have a DAMN SHARPIE KITTY ON MY FUCKING ARM.  (I'm not taunting anyone who has (a) tattoo(s), I am just saying how my dad sees those people.)  I simply say, "I'm not very amused by the fact that you're being rude, and I'll appreciate it if you didn't comment on my arm!" "JASMINE I AM YOUR FATHER AND I WILL COMMENT ON ANYTHING THAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE!  I CAN COMMENT ON ANY PART OF YOUR BODY THAT I WANT AS LONG AS YOU LIVE UNDER MY FUCKING ROOF, CAPICHE!?  WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?  ARE YOU A SKETCH PAD FOR YOU FRIENDS!?"
Fucking prick.

Oh, sorry, interrupted for dinner.

OH LOOKIE I GET YELLED AT FOR NOT WANTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING BREAD.

Oh, another interruption . . . . 

OH I GET YELLED AT FOR APPARENTLY PUTTING THE KNIFES IN THE WRONG PLACES.  I DON'T EVEN DO ANYTHING WITH THE KNIVES!! IT ISN'T MY DAMN JOB TO CLEAN THE KITCHEN!!

A HUGE source of the issue with my dad is that he thinks that everything is beyond obvious.  That if you don't understand one FUCKING thing, you're an automatic idiot.  No doubt,  THAT is part of why he doesn't understand when a fucking 15 YEAR OLD GIRL IS HAVING EMOTIONAL ISSUES.  

Can I talk with him about problems?

No.

HE IS NOT A GIRL WHO CAN RELATE.  HE IS NOT ANYONE WHO CAN RELATE.  HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND SHIT.  HE IS AN EMOTIONLESS TURD WHO THINKS HE CAN RELATE TO ME.  HE THINKS THAT IF HE SAYS "I LOVE YOU" ENOUGH THAT EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OKAY.  THE WORLD DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT!!!  HE THINKS HE KNOWS ME.  HE CAN HARDLY REMEMBER HOW OLD I AM SOMETIMES.

He told me that I can come to him with my problems.  He told me that I can tell him anything, and he won't get mad.  What a load of fucking bullshit.  The one time I confided with him, when I was having problems with my friend, he called me a piece of shit and yelled at me for almost and hour for using a word wrong while I was trying to tell him my problems.  He wanted me to fucking apologize to HIM.  I told him that my friend's mom was upset and pissed with me.  I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.  I USED THE WORDS RIGHT, I WAS TELLING HIM EVERYTHING ACCURATELY.  HE PROMISED I COULD SAY ANYTHING AND HE WOULD NEVER GET MAD AT ME FOR WHAT I DID.  HE TOLD ME HE WOULD GIVE ME ADVICE IF I NEEDED IT.  I CAN'T TELL HIM MY FUCKING ISSUES BECAUSE I AM SCARED.  I AM SCARED THAT HE WILL YELL AT ME, OR HIT ME, OR SOMETHING.  I AM AFRAID BECAUSE HE IS A FUCKING RAGE MANIC.

CAN'T FUCKING BREATHE RIGHT NOW.

I am having the worst week right now, and it's only Tuesday.

I want my fucking mom.

Oh, look another problem.  I CAN'T SEE HER BECAUSE MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING DIVORCED AND I HAVE NO CLUE WHERE SHE IS.  I HAVE NO WAY TO FUCKING CONTACT HER.  
  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: Downed ~ Cheap Trick
  • Reading: Romeo and Juliet; HP2CoS
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:icondimitrilousteau:
DimitriLousteau Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm sorry to hear that. Some parents, doesn't matter if it's someone's mom or dad they can all be a fucking prick sometimes. I think everyone's home life sucks otherwise people would live with their parents forever. Hey if you need anything just remember I'm always here for ya. Just stay gold, sweetie.
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Sounds like The Breakfast Club, but it is true. Thanks.
Reply
:icondimitrilousteau:
DimitriLousteau Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I just watched that movie, and sadly, I agree with it.
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I love that movie. It is so inspirational.
Reply
:icondimitrilousteau:
DimitriLousteau Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Its one of my favorite movies. omg I laughed my ass off when Andy was jumping around when they were all high XD
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yep! But I don't think he smoked enough to be that high. XD
Reply
:icondimitrilousteau:
DimitriLousteau Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
True! XD Before I watched the movie, I saw it that scene on YouTube and I thought he was on a sugar high XD I was jeolous. I don't have that much energy and I can't even do a cartwheel.
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Athletics are hard. :\
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconcoonie98:
coonie98 Featured By Owner May 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Imma clown. Deal with it. NOW LETS PUT SMILES ON ALL THE FACES.
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:iconzoominplz:
OKAY!
:iconhahaha-plz:
Reply
:iconcoonie98:
coonie98 Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
RAWR
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:iconzoominplz: RAWRRAWR
Reply
:iconcoonie98:
coonie98 Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I just hope you know if I ever meet your dad... There might be a slight chance of me exploding on him and or killing him like I'm a fucking ninja. T'will be an 'honorable' death. Hard to say that about an asshole like him though... Love you Jazz<3 stay golden ok? OK???
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Death.  Death and pie.  Two of my favorite things.  :3  I lav you too, Laura.  :3  AND I WILL!  I WILL DO IT FOR JOHNNY!!!!
Reply
:icongiven55:
given55 Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm sorry doll, really.
If you need anything, really anything you can count on me to do anything I can.
I hope your father realizes that he's lucky to have you as a daughter and I hope he realizes that he's a piece of shit for treating you like this.
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, hun.  Means a lot that you said that about me.  And hopefully he just realizes he's an ass.  But, then again, he probably won't.  :/
Reply
:iconrimmirose138:
RimmiRose138 Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
Damn. Your dad does sound like a prick. I know my "sorry"s do virtually nothing but relay human empathy, but.... damn....

I try to suck up what goes on in my family life because of situations like this. The whole "other people have it worse" thing? You really have it worse. There's nothing I can do except internet-hug from the sidelines. You shouldn't have to be treated like this.
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Sorry's help a lot, even if it's repeated.  It helps me feel like someone cares.

And I know I don't have it very well and all, and there is a few HUGE things that are issues that I didn't mention and won't mention.  
Reply
:iconrimmirose138:
RimmiRose138 Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
It's okay. Many of my friends have these "issues". I don't pressure them to talk about it, but I'm always open.
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I could tell you if you want.  But it has to be in a note or something.  Note me if you want to know/
Reply
:iconxredtnt:
xRedTnt Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
Ugh can yo virtually choke my brother? He calls this stupid and then he called you something I don't feel comfortable typing out...
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
*Virtually chokes him*

Go ahead and tell me.  Not much else can make me sadder, let alone a stupid name that means nothing.
Reply
:iconxredtnt:
xRedTnt Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
...hormonal little kid...

I hate my brother sometimes. He's going through the "I know everything" thing.
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
It's accurate, isn't it?  

And my brother is like that too right now.  e.e
Reply
:iconxredtnt:
xRedTnt Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
Idk

e.e
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
e.e
Reply
:iconxredtnt:
xRedTnt Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
Aw :c I'm sorry that you're having these problems. I'm only yelled at because I  drink too much Dr Pepper and school and stuff...

:icondallaswinstonplz::iconsaysplz::iconletmehugyouplz:
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Those used to be my only problems, too.
Reply
:iconxredtnt:
xRedTnt Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
Awww :c //pat pat //hugs :tighthug:
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
*Nuzzles and purrs*
Reply
:iconxredtnt:
xRedTnt Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
//barks
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
*Stares in amazement*
Reply
:iconxredtnt:
xRedTnt Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
//sniffs curiously
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
*Shakes a little*
Reply
:iconxxkatrific:
xxKatrific Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm very saddened to hear this. I understand what you mean.
If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks.  That means a lot.
Reply
:iconpuncakecity:
Puncakecity Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I feel really sorry that you are having to deal with these sort of problems, it get me angry knowing that parents treat their children like this. How does anyone deserve to be treated that way? 
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
It shouldn't be like that for anyone.  Not like I have it, or anything less or worse.
Reply
:iconpuncakecity:
Puncakecity Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I completely agree with you, no one should have to go through things like that.
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks.
Reply
:iconpuncakecity:
Puncakecity Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Your always welcome
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:3
Reply
:iconmusketeer13:
Musketeer13 Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
i feel so sorry for you
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks.  AND WHY ARE THEY BLOCKING YOU!? :iconsobbplz:
Reply
:iconmusketeer13:
Musketeer13 Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
i was meant to be doing assignments...
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Will they ever unblock it?
Reply
:iconmusketeer13:
Musketeer13 Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
i don't know :'(

i don't even know if they can block it...
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Damn.
Reply
:iconmusketeer13:
Musketeer13 Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
:'(
Reply
:iconderpywinston:
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
*Nuzzles*
Reply
(1 Reply)
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